When to step in/ being the mom of an adult---Help!

PCson is still very sick. He has a genetically narrow spinal column (thanks to me ) He is experience spinal compression/central cord syndrome. He is having muscle spasms from head to toe. On top of that he is on day 7 of a nasty virus or infection (dr's still not sure) that has cause high fevers, nausea, vomiting, and other stomach issues. He is dehydrated.

On Saturday he called and asked me to come pick up the kids. BTB Ex had her boyfriend coming for the weekend; the children are 3 and 6--he did not want them to be in the house with them sleeping in the same room---. It was his week of custody (Wed.-Wed.) She told him he was selfish to expect her to change her plans because he was sick. She complained about his upcoming surgery (on the 15th) and the fact that she would not have a free weekend all month.

He called her mom to get some help. Instead of agreeing, she instantly started defending her daughter's choice: "This has all just been dumped on her." Needless to say, that went well. He hung up. She text and told him she would pick up the kids, she was in his city for a meeting. He told her he would have me come. She called me and left a message. I text her back and told her that I was on my way.

Sunday, son received a nasty message from STBexFIL. He blasted son. Told him to man up. That he questions his competence. Horrible stuff. Accused him of harassment of MIL. I text MIL and asked for all communications to son to cease until he is physically better.

Then Monday, DIl text me (she had been trying to contact son all day) to see if the kids would be home Monday afternoon because it was grandson's last t-ball game. I told her I could not bring them home until Tuesday. She then remarked that she should have a say in all decisions.

Ugh---I am trying hard to stay out of their mess. Really hard. I had not communicated with any of them for 6 months except to tag photos on facebook of the grands. Did I step over the line in any way?

Source: http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f10/when-step-being-mom-adult-help-51072/

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